For a change...

I was really, really happy this afternoon, beautiful day, relaxing in the afternoon sun and I mentioned that I was actually in a really good mood (which doesn’t happen often) and everything was so smooth, so of course FW decided to fuck it all up and piss me right off.

This time he insisted that I talk to his mother and wish her happy mother’s day in advance of tomorrow, as I hadn’t spoken to her in ages (purposely). The main reason for this is to keep up the facade that all is well in our relationship and I am perfectly happy with them. This is not true. Had FW actually cared for the woman, he may not have felt this urgent chat necessary, but it was a means of preventing questions from arising, which happens if I don’t speak to them for long periods of time and then the expectation is that if I do, all the past is forgotten and we move to a new false position.

The thing with FW’s parents/family is that they are more dysfunctional than mine. From what I can see, they only seem to be interested in FW’s life when the following are happening:

· He’s offering them money/gifts
· He’s done something that would be considered very successful and thereby provides very boastful conversational material to impress their friends with
· He’s done something awful and thereby provides slanderous gossip to the rest of their family

Personally I prefer family members who don’t gossip about their family within family circles. I find that disgusting. Partner conversations maybe, are okay but to spread personal knowledge on someone (especially when this ruins their name and is not at all necessary), to the rest of their family, is just plain wrong.

Secondly his parents (or perhaps I should say his mother) tend to call only when they want gossipy information or when they want to show off. The conversations are very inquisitive and interrogating and they feel no shame in asking blatantly personal questions, the answers of which, of course, they misinterpret and then spread false damaging news to everyone in the family. FW also lies incredibly in these conversations, trying to make out that we socialise all the time, take many holidays, that he flies planes, takes fencing and karate lessons and most recently that he has started studying for an MBA! And often I am caught in between trying to salvedge the incorrect stories without knowing what’s been said or indeed what to say. I have managed to tolerate this up to a point which happened last year.

FW’s mother made some very insulting comments about him and myself and they crossed a line. I have not spoken to her willingly, since.

There was a text some months later that furthered this situation. I received a text from them shortly after writing my last exam wishing me good luck. I saw this as a means of testing the waters to see if (as they believe life is lived) I had forgiven their previous assertions. I didn’t respond to the text, in the same way that I didn’t respond to any others received and vice versa, and particularly because I wanted to let them know that I was not going to respond.

A week later FW got various complaints (about the text), apparently the situation had been relayed across the whole family and everyone agreed that it was indeed very wrong and rude of me not to respond back with thanks, of course without knowing the other side of the story, and so yet again to keep matters calm, I sarcastically blew sunshine up their arses and let it go. I also sent a very flowery thank you text for their birthday text to me, during which they couldn’t even be bothered calling, not that I would have wanted to speak to them anyway.

So today I really was not in any possible inclination to say anything to FW’s mother and he got the right hump about it and called our relationship off (as if we really have anything left here), muttering that so many other women were after him. Go ahead FW, have a ball, see if I care.