I was thinking today about why FW and I are so horribly incompatable and I realised a few things about myself.
I am from the kind of people who don’t argue because they want to raise someone’s blood pressure for personal pleasure (and I don’t mean of the sexual variety either), but rather who debate intelligently by understanding that some people cannot always agree with you and a compromise needs to be made sometime, without interrupting, negating ideas or being unfoundedly defensive.
I am from the kind of people who question and analyse and hold back until I know the absolute truth about something (or at least have a good idea of what the facts are) before shooting my mouth of to someone (not you ofcourse).
I am from the kind of people who don’t ask what someone else’s religion is when we are dating and don’t proceed to impose my religion (or lack thereof) onto them, I keep a lot of things to myself or at least discuss them with my closer friends instead and I try to create a good impression by supporting a ‘together’ image of myself and keeping my emotions to myself when I can prevent a scene, but who also realises the need to expose bad service or unfair treatment where it is not warranted.
This makes me irrevocably, incompatible with those of the opposite value system and ofcourse with FW. Problem is, where do I find people like myself?
It is cold, miserable, windy and rainy today and tomorrow it will snow. And someone just called (number withheld) and put the phone down as soon as I answered and FW is denying any knowledge of the person.
What will it take to get a bit of sunshine around here?
I realise now that appearances make all the difference. Good looks, thin angular faces that show clear expression and emotion, loud voices that are very clear, the kind of confidence/arrogance that goes along with either being an attention-seeker or not giving a damn that everyone else can actually hear you, in short everything I currently do not have is basically what attracts people to you.
The obvious, is that ...hang on a sec....the sun is actually coming out?!!!!!! Yippee, my prayers have been answered the sun is shining on us mortals, sending us rays of warmth and missing solace, thank you...anyway, back to the obvious, if you’re loud and visible, yes people can notice you, but is it just the noticing that makes them attracted to you or is the fact that you are enticingly confident that makes them feel more comfortable i.e. that you will be less hard work to handle?
Just thinking out a loud there, surely this is old-hat for most of you.
Thursday 31 January 2008
Tuesday 29 January 2008
Pink has arrived
Pink has made a return to my life. Correction, it’s not really a return, rather an appearance. It’s as if I need to re-live my childhood again, but this time in the more acceptable girly way which was never so when I was younger, being very much the tomboy. Suddenly all pink things I own (which are very few) have coincidentally revealed themselves - the low-priced pillow cases I bought when I first arrived in London (priced on account of color), pink scrawled t-shirts, and a new early birthday present which came wrapped in the most gorgeous black and pink box with little embossed dots.
Am I turning girly at this age? Is this a sign that I need to get back in touch with my feminine side to get my life back? Would be worth an experiment, after all I am a bit ‘last year’ at the moment. I’ll let you know.
Am I turning girly at this age? Is this a sign that I need to get back in touch with my feminine side to get my life back? Would be worth an experiment, after all I am a bit ‘last year’ at the moment. I’ll let you know.
Sunday 27 January 2008
A flash of happiness
Last night I was happy, unusually happy, like a manic-depressive happy - so blissful in fact that the thought of posting an entry for this blog didn't even enter my mind. Not that I am an everyday blogger, as you may have noticed but I was trying there for a short while. A little.
So the bizarre happiness, hey I'm not complaining at all. It was a sweet respite from the otherwise negative thought patterns that motivate me to write. How sad am I?
Cut my hair today, it feels like a change but not that drastic that it makes me feel 'better'.
My days are not as glamourous and dramatic as they once were. I do have time on my hands now but I'd much rather not. Have started to take little herbal sleeping pills to get my sleep patterns normalised. I currently fall asleep at 4 in the morning and wake up at 12 noon. It's a real pain in the arse and I cant seem to get back in sync.
In fact I think the little pills are starting to work now.
Laters
So the bizarre happiness, hey I'm not complaining at all. It was a sweet respite from the otherwise negative thought patterns that motivate me to write. How sad am I?
Cut my hair today, it feels like a change but not that drastic that it makes me feel 'better'.
My days are not as glamourous and dramatic as they once were. I do have time on my hands now but I'd much rather not. Have started to take little herbal sleeping pills to get my sleep patterns normalised. I currently fall asleep at 4 in the morning and wake up at 12 noon. It's a real pain in the arse and I cant seem to get back in sync.
In fact I think the little pills are starting to work now.
Laters
Saturday 26 January 2008
Dalit People in India
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/20/AR2007062002535.html
Dalit people in India and the way they are treated for being considered as a lower caste, was also in a documentary today on the BBC. Shocking, torturous, inhumane. The words don't even do justice to describe it. Feeling really down and sad about this, and helpless, what could I possibly do to help?
The legacy of colonialism is evident both in India and in the beginnings of apartheid, and the feeling remains the same.
Heart breaking, and still no justice.
Dalit people in India and the way they are treated for being considered as a lower caste, was also in a documentary today on the BBC. Shocking, torturous, inhumane. The words don't even do justice to describe it. Feeling really down and sad about this, and helpless, what could I possibly do to help?
The legacy of colonialism is evident both in India and in the beginnings of apartheid, and the feeling remains the same.
Heart breaking, and still no justice.
Friday 25 January 2008
Anna - Gunnar Madsen
Just watched an old episode of Sex and the City – ‘La Douleur Exquise’ which shows Carrie saying goodbye to Big as he heads of for Paris. Yes, I do have a really girly SATC-watching side and no I don’t want to hear the comments about it. The thing is, I had a relationship exactly like that – ‘The exquisite pain’, and it turned out so intensely sad, so maybe one day I’ll fill you in.
They played Gunnar Madsen’s, ‘ Anna’ towards the end. Such a beautiful piece it is.
Aaahhh...
They played Gunnar Madsen’s, ‘ Anna’ towards the end. Such a beautiful piece it is.
Aaahhh...
Tuesday 22 January 2008
Still right here, treading water
Almost the end of January and I’ve hardly done anything substantial this year. I hear me urging myself, inwardly, to get on with it. I have so much to do: a flat to sell, a qualification to complete, a new place to find if I do sell my flat, administrative loose ends growing urgent by the day, a physical makeover, finding a way out of this social and sabbatical-gone-wrong mess, and most of all choosing a path and walking away from this crossroad.
I don’t know how I got to this exact place; this relationship disaster, this bizarre shelter away from home, this financial insecurity. And I’m past the psycho stress of it all too. There was a time when being unemployed for a month would scare the bejesus out of me, at least into succumbing to a lowly, badly-paid job in the interim. Now I want to run from anything that confines or restricts me in the smallest way.
The smell of Freedom is wafting past my nostrils and I want a bigger whiff of it. I want to breathe it in and let it permeate me to the point of being lost in its intoxication. I want to break out of this cage and run freely to a life of deeper joys.
(That last sentence sounds so...adjectively OTT and out of place...but true though)
Anyway... so a recession looms. Today is being called Black Monday in London, unless tomorrow morning’s activity puts the market back to yesterday’s position. How could this affect my future? Mmm...
I don’t know how I got to this exact place; this relationship disaster, this bizarre shelter away from home, this financial insecurity. And I’m past the psycho stress of it all too. There was a time when being unemployed for a month would scare the bejesus out of me, at least into succumbing to a lowly, badly-paid job in the interim. Now I want to run from anything that confines or restricts me in the smallest way.
The smell of Freedom is wafting past my nostrils and I want a bigger whiff of it. I want to breathe it in and let it permeate me to the point of being lost in its intoxication. I want to break out of this cage and run freely to a life of deeper joys.
(That last sentence sounds so...adjectively OTT and out of place...but true though)
Anyway... so a recession looms. Today is being called Black Monday in London, unless tomorrow morning’s activity puts the market back to yesterday’s position. How could this affect my future? Mmm...
Sunday 20 January 2008
Goodbye NL.
Today while stumbling through some websites, I discovered the shocking news that an old colleague friend of mine, a beautiful, sweet and caring person, was in Thailand on 26 December 2004 and passed away in the tsunami.
I can’t begin to tell you how I feel. She was typically that kind of person that makes the statement ‘only the good die young’ true.
My mind ran through so many sentimental memories of what a kind and non-judgemental person she was. Her affinity for cats and Harry Potter, her simplicity, her genuinely caring attitude, her ignorance of how beautiful she was – I realise what a truly beautiful person she was, inside and out.
I even remember one moment of silliness, when we stripped down to our underwear and went swimming in a pool at a sports ranch that our company was having a Christmas party at. We thought no one else saw us but discovered the following week that one of the tech guys was up on the roof above the pool, capturing the pool area and caught us on camera! They later edited out that scene.
NL, you were truly a gemstone, what a loss. Thanks for the good memories of your beautiful personality.
I can’t begin to tell you how I feel. She was typically that kind of person that makes the statement ‘only the good die young’ true.
My mind ran through so many sentimental memories of what a kind and non-judgemental person she was. Her affinity for cats and Harry Potter, her simplicity, her genuinely caring attitude, her ignorance of how beautiful she was – I realise what a truly beautiful person she was, inside and out.
I even remember one moment of silliness, when we stripped down to our underwear and went swimming in a pool at a sports ranch that our company was having a Christmas party at. We thought no one else saw us but discovered the following week that one of the tech guys was up on the roof above the pool, capturing the pool area and caught us on camera! They later edited out that scene.
NL, you were truly a gemstone, what a loss. Thanks for the good memories of your beautiful personality.
Friday 18 January 2008
New York, New York
New York is in my blood. It has been since I was old enough to understand that it was a city in another country - at a time when TV was the only medium to experience it by. It fascinated me beyond anything else that forced American culture into our sheltered, southern world.
My first virginal memory of the place, was a scene in a TV show. Can't remember the name but it was typically ‘eighties’. It had a bright-lights-big-city backdrop and I can just about manage a memory of a thirty-something guy coming out of a tenement block, ostensibly to have a cigarette, but also to get out. He holds a rose, growing out of a pot near a front door, and you hear the sound of Sinatra’s ‘Moonlight Serenade’.
Sounds cheesy I know, but I that scene just created a paradigm in my mind, far beyond just the sights and sounds of one incident. It remained forever in me. I started crazily piecing together scenes from TV, bits of a puzzle, trying to get a flavour of the city. I imagined the lives of the working class to be the most intense. I could see the richness in their family and friendship bonds, in their conversations and their desires. Just the way they lived life, so passionate and energetic, so savoured, such furious liveliness, it stirred me. The sound of that life, its taste, its magnetism, it's a mystery that still holds me today: the belief that the inspiration of your true dreams never end.
My first virginal memory of the place, was a scene in a TV show. Can't remember the name but it was typically ‘eighties’. It had a bright-lights-big-city backdrop and I can just about manage a memory of a thirty-something guy coming out of a tenement block, ostensibly to have a cigarette, but also to get out. He holds a rose, growing out of a pot near a front door, and you hear the sound of Sinatra’s ‘Moonlight Serenade’.
Sounds cheesy I know, but I that scene just created a paradigm in my mind, far beyond just the sights and sounds of one incident. It remained forever in me. I started crazily piecing together scenes from TV, bits of a puzzle, trying to get a flavour of the city. I imagined the lives of the working class to be the most intense. I could see the richness in their family and friendship bonds, in their conversations and their desires. Just the way they lived life, so passionate and energetic, so savoured, such furious liveliness, it stirred me. The sound of that life, its taste, its magnetism, it's a mystery that still holds me today: the belief that the inspiration of your true dreams never end.
Thursday 17 January 2008
Why do men still prefer (youthful) beauty over (slightly) older and wiser?
Still stuck on the twenties issue...
Why is it that the climax of my life so far, i.e. being 21, was characterised by being insecure, innocent and immature, yet also allowing me to be sexy, fun, popular, wanted and hugely fulfilled?
I am beginning to accept that good looks and ignorance are what makes the world go round. Not just go round, but words like power and wealth come to mind. Just look at Tom Cruise for example. Do you see what I mean?
Here I am, ten years down the road from 21, all the wiser and so pro-damn-foundly more experienced than my happy air-head days past. I exercise more than I have ever done, I’m not too bad looking for my age (some still think I am in my early twenties), I can hold my own in any conversation (for that matter debate on just about any subject), I actually have my own opinions now and don’t feel the need to be clingy or helped anymore. Just when I thought I've finally got to the stage where I can stand on my own feet and face the world, I realise that I am not needy and youthfully attractive enough to attract a good man?? (The kind of man I attracted in my early twenties: thirty-something, slim, toned, funny, charming, well-mannered, sociable, happy, fun...)
Can somebody tell me Why is this???
Why is it that the climax of my life so far, i.e. being 21, was characterised by being insecure, innocent and immature, yet also allowing me to be sexy, fun, popular, wanted and hugely fulfilled?
I am beginning to accept that good looks and ignorance are what makes the world go round. Not just go round, but words like power and wealth come to mind. Just look at Tom Cruise for example. Do you see what I mean?
Here I am, ten years down the road from 21, all the wiser and so pro-damn-foundly more experienced than my happy air-head days past. I exercise more than I have ever done, I’m not too bad looking for my age (some still think I am in my early twenties), I can hold my own in any conversation (for that matter debate on just about any subject), I actually have my own opinions now and don’t feel the need to be clingy or helped anymore. Just when I thought I've finally got to the stage where I can stand on my own feet and face the world, I realise that I am not needy and youthfully attractive enough to attract a good man?? (The kind of man I attracted in my early twenties: thirty-something, slim, toned, funny, charming, well-mannered, sociable, happy, fun...)
Can somebody tell me Why is this???
Monday 14 January 2008
Transition from 20's to 30's
Perhaps it's time to stop reaching your goals and strive for a purpose in life instead, a life of meaning and significance.
This piece of guidance I have gleaned from a psychologies magazine I recently read.
The transition from your twenties to your thirties is a real mind screw. It creeps up on you very slowly. One day you look up and suddenly you have as they say: 'a wife and 2 kids, how did they get there? You don't know'.
I don't have a wife and 2 kids, firstly because I am a woman and secondly the slow creep up has been ever so slightly noticeable.
I remember at 26, someone I met at a really memorable social party said of me that I didn't come across as a 26 year old, that I had the 'lack of insecurity' of someone in their thirties, and I made a mental note.
Yes now I can do things, feel things, ignore things and be myself with a greater sense of understanding rather than acceptance, like I did in my twenties, but I can't remember when I changed.
Things I do now that I would never do in my twenties:
have lunch on my own in an expensive restaurant
make an effort to call that guy back instead of playing by the rules
dress for comfort rather than fashion
take far less risks that would affect my safety
laugh off very young guys hitting on me
advise people younger than me
pick up heavy things
not over-indulge in anything intoxicating
go out without make-up
leave the house for milk without first taking a shower on a Sunday morning
buy property
save money
feel broody when around babies
actually contemplate having a child
try to make a relationship work instead of running away
feel envious of young, beautiful twenty-somethings
consider dating a guy that might not 'up' my shares on the social exchange
desperately working on my changing body shape
diet
exercise
ignoring kids behaving badly in public
not going to clubs anymore because they make me feel old
not having any worthwhile goals and feeling stagnant
I seem to like lists as you may have noticed. But really this behaviour crept up on me and I am wondering if this is normal.
So my dilemma right now, is a confusion of where to go, what to do, what do I really want in life, how do I get there, will this make me happy?
And none of the answers leave me satisfied or clear as to what to do next. So I want a life of purpose, but do i really know what purpose and how do I change things so that I can fulfil that purpose an still survive, and most of all will it bring me happiness?
This piece of guidance I have gleaned from a psychologies magazine I recently read.
The transition from your twenties to your thirties is a real mind screw. It creeps up on you very slowly. One day you look up and suddenly you have as they say: 'a wife and 2 kids, how did they get there? You don't know'.
I don't have a wife and 2 kids, firstly because I am a woman and secondly the slow creep up has been ever so slightly noticeable.
I remember at 26, someone I met at a really memorable social party said of me that I didn't come across as a 26 year old, that I had the 'lack of insecurity' of someone in their thirties, and I made a mental note.
Yes now I can do things, feel things, ignore things and be myself with a greater sense of understanding rather than acceptance, like I did in my twenties, but I can't remember when I changed.
Things I do now that I would never do in my twenties:
have lunch on my own in an expensive restaurant
make an effort to call that guy back instead of playing by the rules
dress for comfort rather than fashion
take far less risks that would affect my safety
laugh off very young guys hitting on me
advise people younger than me
pick up heavy things
not over-indulge in anything intoxicating
go out without make-up
leave the house for milk without first taking a shower on a Sunday morning
buy property
save money
feel broody when around babies
actually contemplate having a child
try to make a relationship work instead of running away
feel envious of young, beautiful twenty-somethings
consider dating a guy that might not 'up' my shares on the social exchange
desperately working on my changing body shape
diet
exercise
ignoring kids behaving badly in public
not going to clubs anymore because they make me feel old
not having any worthwhile goals and feeling stagnant
I seem to like lists as you may have noticed. But really this behaviour crept up on me and I am wondering if this is normal.
So my dilemma right now, is a confusion of where to go, what to do, what do I really want in life, how do I get there, will this make me happy?
And none of the answers leave me satisfied or clear as to what to do next. So I want a life of purpose, but do i really know what purpose and how do I change things so that I can fulfil that purpose an still survive, and most of all will it bring me happiness?
Friday 11 January 2008
Things I miss about home
sunshine
space
clean air
smiles on people's faces
beautful nature
roads that are not so congested
people that actually listen to you
respect
braais
good-looking men
pools
rosebank flea market
mr price
sundowners
short drives
boerewors
sandton city
northcliff hill
melville
downtown
wits
fresh food
value for money
sunday mornings when the city sleeps
breeze soap
spray and cook
the accents
african music
the trendy clubs and bars
dinner parties
friendly people
conversations with strangers
the sense of humor
analytical conversations about nothing
sunday morning newspapers and breakfasts
sunday afternoon naps and dvd's with kfc
nando's, ocean basket and steak houses
maids
having your petrol filled and purchased for you
good service
car washes
beauty salons
lounging at the pool
radio stations
jasmine at the start of summer
jacaranda trees
the tropical plants and flowers
efficiency
convenience
large open spaces
the joburg skyline
ponte
beautiful houses
big gardens
arty folk
big concerts
thinner people
energy
excitement
blue skies
parkhurst
greenside
space
clean air
smiles on people's faces
beautful nature
roads that are not so congested
people that actually listen to you
respect
braais
good-looking men
pools
rosebank flea market
mr price
sundowners
short drives
boerewors
sandton city
northcliff hill
melville
downtown
wits
fresh food
value for money
sunday mornings when the city sleeps
breeze soap
spray and cook
the accents
african music
the trendy clubs and bars
dinner parties
friendly people
conversations with strangers
the sense of humor
analytical conversations about nothing
sunday morning newspapers and breakfasts
sunday afternoon naps and dvd's with kfc
nando's, ocean basket and steak houses
maids
having your petrol filled and purchased for you
good service
car washes
beauty salons
lounging at the pool
radio stations
jasmine at the start of summer
jacaranda trees
the tropical plants and flowers
efficiency
convenience
large open spaces
the joburg skyline
ponte
beautiful houses
big gardens
arty folk
big concerts
thinner people
energy
excitement
blue skies
parkhurst
greenside
Wednesday 9 January 2008
Domestic Violence
Emotional and verbal abuse from a partner is classed as psychological domestic abuse and is a crime. If the following signs apply to you, please google domestic violence and find the nearest women's shelter/shelter to help you. In the UK you can try www.womensaid.org.uk or call (UK freephone) 0808 2000 247
Does your partner:
ignore your feelings?
disrespect you?
ridicule or insult you then tell you its a joke, or that you have no sense of humor?
ridicule your beliefs, religion, race, heritage or class?
withhold approval, appreciation or affection?
give you the silent treatment?
walk away without answering you?
criticize you, call you names, yell at you?
humiliate you privately or in public?
roll his or her eyes when you talk?
give you a hard time about socializing with your friends or family?
make you socialize (and keep up appearances) even when you don't feel well?
seem to make sure that what you really want is exactly what you won't get?
tell you you are too sensitive?
hurt you especially when you are down?
seem energized by fighting, while fighting exhausts you?
have unpredictable mood swings, alternating from good to bad for no apparent reason?
present a wonderful face to the world and is well liked by outsiders?
"twist" your words, somehow turning what you said against you?
try to control decisions, money, even the way you style your hair or wear your clothes?
complain about how badly you treat him or her?
threaten to leave, or threaten to throw you out?
say things that make you feel good, but do things that make you feel bad?
ever left you stranded?
ever threaten to hurt you or your family?
ever hit or pushed you, even "accidentally"?
seem to stir up trouble just when you seem to be getting closer to each other?
abuse something you love: a pet, a child, an object?
compliment you enough to keep you happy, yet criticize you enough to keep you insecure?
promise to never do something hurtful again?
harass you about imagined affairs?
manipulate you with lies and contradictions?
destroy furniture, punch holes in walls, break appliances?
drive like a road-rage junkie?
act immature and selfish, yet accuse you of those behaviors?
question your every move and motive, somehow questioning your competence?
interrupt you; hear but not really listen?
make you feel like you can't win? damned if you do, damned if you don't?
use drugs and/or alcohol involved? are things worse then?
incite you to rage, which is "proof" that you are to blame?
try to convince you he or she is "right," while you are "wrong?"
frequently say things that are later denied or accuse you of misunderstanding?
treat you like a sex object, or as though sex should be provided on demand regardless of how you feel?
Your situation is critical if the following applies to you:
You express your opinions less and less freely.
You find yourself walking on eggshells, careful of when and how to say something.
You long for that softer, more vulnerable part of your partner to emerge.
You find yourself making excuses for your partner's behavior?
You feel emotionally unsafe.
You feel its somehow not OK to talk with others about your relationship.
You hope things will change...especially through your love and understanding.
You find yourself doubting your memory or sense of reality.
You doubt your own judgment.
You doubt your abilities.
You feel vulnerable and insecure.
You are becoming increasingly depressed.
You feel increasingly trapped and powerless.
You have been or are afraid of your partner.
Your partner has physically hurt you, even once.
If you feel your relationship may be verbally and emotionally abusive, talk to people you trust. Talk to clergy, call your local battered women's shelter, educate yourself, seek professional help. Do not allow verbal and emotional abuse to escalate to battery!
Does your partner:
ignore your feelings?
disrespect you?
ridicule or insult you then tell you its a joke, or that you have no sense of humor?
ridicule your beliefs, religion, race, heritage or class?
withhold approval, appreciation or affection?
give you the silent treatment?
walk away without answering you?
criticize you, call you names, yell at you?
humiliate you privately or in public?
roll his or her eyes when you talk?
give you a hard time about socializing with your friends or family?
make you socialize (and keep up appearances) even when you don't feel well?
seem to make sure that what you really want is exactly what you won't get?
tell you you are too sensitive?
hurt you especially when you are down?
seem energized by fighting, while fighting exhausts you?
have unpredictable mood swings, alternating from good to bad for no apparent reason?
present a wonderful face to the world and is well liked by outsiders?
"twist" your words, somehow turning what you said against you?
try to control decisions, money, even the way you style your hair or wear your clothes?
complain about how badly you treat him or her?
threaten to leave, or threaten to throw you out?
say things that make you feel good, but do things that make you feel bad?
ever left you stranded?
ever threaten to hurt you or your family?
ever hit or pushed you, even "accidentally"?
seem to stir up trouble just when you seem to be getting closer to each other?
abuse something you love: a pet, a child, an object?
compliment you enough to keep you happy, yet criticize you enough to keep you insecure?
promise to never do something hurtful again?
harass you about imagined affairs?
manipulate you with lies and contradictions?
destroy furniture, punch holes in walls, break appliances?
drive like a road-rage junkie?
act immature and selfish, yet accuse you of those behaviors?
question your every move and motive, somehow questioning your competence?
interrupt you; hear but not really listen?
make you feel like you can't win? damned if you do, damned if you don't?
use drugs and/or alcohol involved? are things worse then?
incite you to rage, which is "proof" that you are to blame?
try to convince you he or she is "right," while you are "wrong?"
frequently say things that are later denied or accuse you of misunderstanding?
treat you like a sex object, or as though sex should be provided on demand regardless of how you feel?
Your situation is critical if the following applies to you:
You express your opinions less and less freely.
You find yourself walking on eggshells, careful of when and how to say something.
You long for that softer, more vulnerable part of your partner to emerge.
You find yourself making excuses for your partner's behavior?
You feel emotionally unsafe.
You feel its somehow not OK to talk with others about your relationship.
You hope things will change...especially through your love and understanding.
You find yourself doubting your memory or sense of reality.
You doubt your own judgment.
You doubt your abilities.
You feel vulnerable and insecure.
You are becoming increasingly depressed.
You feel increasingly trapped and powerless.
You have been or are afraid of your partner.
Your partner has physically hurt you, even once.
If you feel your relationship may be verbally and emotionally abusive, talk to people you trust. Talk to clergy, call your local battered women's shelter, educate yourself, seek professional help. Do not allow verbal and emotional abuse to escalate to battery!
Thursday 3 January 2008
Christmas in London
Things that have happened in London over the Christmas period:
1) While on my way to the movies I had the misfortune of walking behind a typical ignorant mother. Her poor innocent 3(ish) year old was practically running behind trying to catch up as she walked increasing faster towards the main entrance. The little girl was crying about something and her mother ignored her completely. The mother then disappeared into the entrance which was not very visible with the amount of people around and so the little girl tried to run faster to catch up and tripped over a metal carpet border and fell right onto the foot of a woman going in.
The mother then turns around to the woman and says 'Just walk away then after kicking my child!' What an idiotic mother! I really did have to stop myself from causing a scene and ofcourse the poor kid didn't get any attention at all!
2)At the local supermarket. Two cockney-accented women, both in 4-by-4's stop alongside each other on one of the narrow parking lanes and are having a private conversation. No one else can pass and the traffic is starting to build up. I hoot and the one woman sticks her head out and yells, 'ok, can you just wait we are having a conversation!'
3)At the local supermarket inside. This is the usual scene, just a million times worse at Christmas.
These shoppers were just not raised to understand the very efficient concept of not blocking pathways, especially at supermarkets. They do not stop their trolleys at the sides of lanes but anywhere they please and usually without any indication. They will veer in front of you at any time and walk without looking in front of them and ofcourse bump into you, after which they will give you a dirty look as if it's your fault.
They arrive in families of 10-12, especially with young children that feel that they have the right to run around the supermarket and woe betide if any run into your trolley, you will be received with much worse than in 1) above. They do also have conversations in the middle of pathways and bang into you without any conscience or apology. They walk slowly in front of you. They reach across your trolley to get items they can reach from any other angle.
But most of all the checkout queue is the greatest frustration. The staff have conversations with shoppers instead of hurrying up the job. Most people feel no need whatsoever to be as quick as possible because of the queue waiting behind them. They will very carefully search all four bags for the right card, when all is packed, after they have been standing there doing nothing for the last 5 minutes. They will insist on inquiring about the discounts on the 2 coupons amounting to £1 that has to be dealt with by the senior supervisor who takes about 20 minutes to check that they are not allowed the discount after all, and this happens about 1/2 an hour before the store closes and the queue is growing behind.
And then you will be faced with the rich-husband wife who cannot park her husband's large car in the normal-size parking bay and must attempt to do this about 16 times before she realises that there are plenty of parking bays in the row behind..
4) Conversation with my flatmate/ex-boyfriend who will henceforth be known as the FW (I'm sure you will eventually see why)
FW: (after taking out the garbage which was way overdue) The bag split on me
J: Did it mess your trousers?
FW: No I didn't mess my trousers, I said the bag split on me!
J: Yes and did IT MESS UP YOUR TROUSERS?
FW: How can a bag splitting mess up your trousers?
J: Nevermind
Sadly, this is not all part of the silly season, it's consistent.
1) While on my way to the movies I had the misfortune of walking behind a typical ignorant mother. Her poor innocent 3(ish) year old was practically running behind trying to catch up as she walked increasing faster towards the main entrance. The little girl was crying about something and her mother ignored her completely. The mother then disappeared into the entrance which was not very visible with the amount of people around and so the little girl tried to run faster to catch up and tripped over a metal carpet border and fell right onto the foot of a woman going in.
The mother then turns around to the woman and says 'Just walk away then after kicking my child!' What an idiotic mother! I really did have to stop myself from causing a scene and ofcourse the poor kid didn't get any attention at all!
2)At the local supermarket. Two cockney-accented women, both in 4-by-4's stop alongside each other on one of the narrow parking lanes and are having a private conversation. No one else can pass and the traffic is starting to build up. I hoot and the one woman sticks her head out and yells, 'ok, can you just wait we are having a conversation!'
3)At the local supermarket inside. This is the usual scene, just a million times worse at Christmas.
These shoppers were just not raised to understand the very efficient concept of not blocking pathways, especially at supermarkets. They do not stop their trolleys at the sides of lanes but anywhere they please and usually without any indication. They will veer in front of you at any time and walk without looking in front of them and ofcourse bump into you, after which they will give you a dirty look as if it's your fault.
They arrive in families of 10-12, especially with young children that feel that they have the right to run around the supermarket and woe betide if any run into your trolley, you will be received with much worse than in 1) above. They do also have conversations in the middle of pathways and bang into you without any conscience or apology. They walk slowly in front of you. They reach across your trolley to get items they can reach from any other angle.
But most of all the checkout queue is the greatest frustration. The staff have conversations with shoppers instead of hurrying up the job. Most people feel no need whatsoever to be as quick as possible because of the queue waiting behind them. They will very carefully search all four bags for the right card, when all is packed, after they have been standing there doing nothing for the last 5 minutes. They will insist on inquiring about the discounts on the 2 coupons amounting to £1 that has to be dealt with by the senior supervisor who takes about 20 minutes to check that they are not allowed the discount after all, and this happens about 1/2 an hour before the store closes and the queue is growing behind.
And then you will be faced with the rich-husband wife who cannot park her husband's large car in the normal-size parking bay and must attempt to do this about 16 times before she realises that there are plenty of parking bays in the row behind..
4) Conversation with my flatmate/ex-boyfriend who will henceforth be known as the FW (I'm sure you will eventually see why)
FW: (after taking out the garbage which was way overdue) The bag split on me
J: Did it mess your trousers?
FW: No I didn't mess my trousers, I said the bag split on me!
J: Yes and did IT MESS UP YOUR TROUSERS?
FW: How can a bag splitting mess up your trousers?
J: Nevermind
Sadly, this is not all part of the silly season, it's consistent.
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