Still right here, treading water

Almost the end of January and I’ve hardly done anything substantial this year. I hear me urging myself, inwardly, to get on with it. I have so much to do: a flat to sell, a qualification to complete, a new place to find if I do sell my flat, administrative loose ends growing urgent by the day, a physical makeover, finding a way out of this social and sabbatical-gone-wrong mess, and most of all choosing a path and walking away from this crossroad.

I don’t know how I got to this exact place; this relationship disaster, this bizarre shelter away from home, this financial insecurity. And I’m past the psycho stress of it all too. There was a time when being unemployed for a month would scare the bejesus out of me, at least into succumbing to a lowly, badly-paid job in the interim. Now I want to run from anything that confines or restricts me in the smallest way.

The smell of Freedom is wafting past my nostrils and I want a bigger whiff of it. I want to breathe it in and let it permeate me to the point of being lost in its intoxication. I want to break out of this cage and run freely to a life of deeper joys.

(That last sentence sounds so...adjectively OTT and out of place...but true though)

Anyway... so a recession looms. Today is being called Black Monday in London, unless tomorrow morning’s activity puts the market back to yesterday’s position. How could this affect my future? Mmm...